Housekeeping

So, for those of you counting we have had 4 flights cancelled.  This has led to a number of amazing changes in our trip.  Most of which led us a way from working computers.  Today we were supposed to fly to Cairns.  That flight was cancelled so we once again improvised.  Weaseled our way on to the only flight to Brisbane today.  Then booked another flight to Cairnes.  Epic.  Annoying. Irritating. Yes.  But we made it.  So here is a photo blog in chronological order to catch you up on our adventures through the rest of New Zealand.

Arthurs Pass National Park and the largest glacier in New Zealand.

Here is the little shack where we pulled over and had fresh lobster on the beach.

Wellington, the coolest city in New Zealand.  Not on the original agenda but since we had to drive we added it in. Sometimes things get all screwed up because thats the only way they get better.

Who says we arent cultured? Vino... yes please.  Wine tasting in Napier.

Ironic?  We went to Hell's Gate, New Zealand's version of yellowstone.  It was once again a welcome suprise in our travel plans.  Which of course gave us a chance to beautify...

Clayton needed a little more work than me.

The we went on the "black abyss" cave tour through Waitomo caves.  We free rapelled or absailed 300 meters into the cave, zip lined through the dark, and tubed through a freezing river, before climbing back to the surface through a water fall.

The top of New Zealand's greatest hike: Tongoriro Crossing.  Fantastic! 9 hours and 15 miles of pure uphill hell that was completely worth it.

Waitomo.  Hot beach (and hot it was over 100F, it burned in places).  A natural hot spring runs through the beach so you bring a shovel and dig your own hot tub right on the beach.  *Beer not included.  This is maybe one of the coolest things I have ever done.

Cathedral Cove.  This is in a natural archway between two beaches.  It was right before sunset and Clayton and I were the only ones on the beach.  It was a religious experience in a way.  Waitomo was my favorite place we went.

Finally we made it to Auckland before we flew out to Cairns.  Once again nothing worked out as we planned, making our plans all the more perfect.  We saw a playoff rugby game.  Go Blues!

Duke of Wellington

I am having a terrible time with these computers and getting pictures...sorry.

We got into Wellington really late, but got up really early the next morning.  We got up and headed for Cuba St. the local cultural center.  We were searching for a cafe called "Fidel's" for breakfast.  We couldn't find the place so we settled for one of the many other cafe's and had a fantastic breakfast.

We needed a big breakfast, because we love lookouts (if you cant tell) and lookouts are always really high.  We hiked to the top of  Mt. Victoria in central Wellington- yes there is a mountain in downtown Wellington.

Starved we hiked along the scenic bay of Wellington over to the Parliment building where we had lunch at Bench-Backer's Pub: a local political hangout covered with satirical political cartoons.  Then we spent the rest of the day basking in Wellington's eccentricities, museums, and shops.  Finally, we found Fidel's cuban cafe on Cuba St, where we did some people watching and rested our legs from hiking all over Wellington.

We finished our day in a Pub watching the Highlanders play the Blues in rugby.  We took in the game with some rabid Highlander fans.  I think we have been initiated into the Highlander fan club.

(No) Planes, (No) Trains, (Boats) & Automobiles

Another two days in the books and travel has been a mess.

Yesterday we got up and hopped in the car and headed for Arthur's Pass National Park.  Another beautifully scenic drive and multiple hikes in the books.  We had a close up encounter with the world's only alpine parrot enroute to Devil's Punchbowl Falls.  The computer wont allow me to add pictures right now, so you will have to trust me it was unreal.  We also hiked Castle Hill, a large rock outcropping that we climbed on like we were little kids.  I felt like I was 9 and Clayton was 6 again.

We got up this morning and headed to the airport to catch our flight.  Of course, not only were all Jet Star flights cancelled- but all flights out of Christchurch were cancelled.  No worries!  We re-rented our Ford Focus and headed for Picton to take the Interislander Ferry across the channel.  Turned out to be a blessing, because how else would we have driven along the Ocean on the East Coast and found the small shack serving todays catch lobster on the beach for lunch?  Didn't even need butter!

We reached Picton and ferried across the ocean with a frosty cold beer in hand watching Wellington come into view.  Budget extended our rental on the second island, but required we rent a new car for the same price.  Nothing screams American on Holiday more than the diesal land cruiser 4x4 we are pavement pounding in.  Hopefully more pictures in the future.

Hello North Island!

Chile and New Zealand Diplomatic Relations

Today we were supposed to fly to Christchurch.  Once again a giant volcano in Chile had other plans for us.  We arrived at the airport early enough to fly to Christchurch via other accommodations if Jetstar (our airline) cancelled flights again.  Drat-  everything was either cancelled or booked.

So we did the natural thing, improvised, and went and visited our good friends at Budget rent-a-car.  One day someone will ask me "Robert, I'm heading to New Zealand and I have choice between a Ford Focus and a Hyundai I30."  I hope they are ready for my assessment of both vehicles.  Without much delving into too much detail: 'Merica and book Clayton as your GPS.

However, inside every chickensh*t sandwich is of course chicken salad which we found without much trouble.  We headed north and saw some spectacular scenery and a probably 10,000 sheep.  There are something like 4:1 ratio of sheep to people in this country, no joke its on the internet.

We also stopped at Mt. Cook National Park, did some hiking, and took many pictures to entertain you.  And now we find ourselves safe and sound in Christchurch.

Jet Boats and Lord of the Rings

You know you are going to have a great day when you start your morning with a ham and cheese sandwich between two slices of French toast smothered in syrup.

Our last day in Queenstown was two days ago.  We got up early and rode Jetboats.  Imagine yourself riding on a wave runner with 10 other people.  The wave runner only needs about 4 inches of water to run- so you can feel the stones on the river bed hitting the boat.  Now imagine you are in a canyon 20 ft wide doing 60 miles an hour right at a rock wall while doing 360s and barely missing the walls in a -10 degree wind chill.  That's Jet Boating.

When we got back, we had few hours to kill so we decided to hike to the top of Queenstown hill.  We passed a woman on the way up and asked if there was a killer view.  She laughed, "Ya."  The view was the most spectacular view thus far.  As we stood on top of the mountain and a few fellow tourist educated us on where Rodin, the mythical city in Lord of the Rings was, we took in a view that words fail to describe.

That's us in the Basket of Dreams. 

After our hike we closed out our day at "Wine Tastes" sampling the wines of the region.  If I may, I recommend the Judge Rock Pinot Noir 2007, hints of plum on the pallet- amazing.

Air Travel, Epic Hikes,and Bungee

Today we did some living, and we lived well- but first a few words on our travel to Queenstown.

Leaving Australia was a Zoo.  In order to leave the country Quantas Airlines wanted our complete itenerary which we ended up accessing through a public computer in the middle of the airport.  The attendent then walked over and looked over my shoulder.  This was ok, because she was a huge babe and she then magically showed up at our departure gate after the excitement... wonder why?  Clayton, lets tone down the charm just a little shall we.

So thats how we go to Christchurch, NZ.  We got up this morning to fly to Queenstown aside from the volcano erruption in Chile which got our flight cancelled it was easy.  Then there was the MOST BAFFLING portion of anything thus far. There is 0 security in the Christchurch airport.. no metal detectors, nada.  We just paraded up to the gate, didnt show ID and jumped on the plane.  I felt safe.

Queenstown is easily the most beautiful place I have ever been in my life.  Rugged mountains surround a lake paradise.  We ate lunch at the world famous (no joke they had an LA Times article on the wall) Fergberger.  Clayton and Robert lend 4 thumbs up.  Then, Clayton dragged me on the worlds most epic hike straight up the side of a mountain, it was worth it though. The top of a mountain overlooks the entire town.

Phenomenal.

Then Bungee.  We jumped off the Kawarau Bridge.  I will be honest with you.  The best part was watching Clayton swan dive off the bridge and hit the water.  Oh yes you read that correctly.  Clayton asked the guys if he could touch the water, but failed to specify with which part of his body.  They seemed to believe he wanted to use his entire upper body.

Sorry, we dont have the digital versions yet so we had to take a photo of the photos of Clayton waist deep upside down in water after jumping 142 feet.  Clayton got his moneys worth, technically jumping 145 feet.  Lucky for us and the Quantas lady at the airport Clayton's face is as beautiful as ever.

Melbourne: The Final Chapter

Today, today... what a grand day it was.

We got up early because we had to return the rental car to our rather demanding friends at Thrifty Rent-a-car.  Today, we wanted to see all we had missed of Melbourne.  After a brief breakfast at a coffee shop we set off across town to grab tickets for tonights Australian Football Game.

We snagged the tickets then set off to see the final sights that Melbourne had to offer.  We had an awesome day catching all the major sights and sounds of the city.  We saw the Exibition of 1890 center, the old Mint, the World War I memorial, the parliment building, numerous museums and of course... Young and Jackson.

Young and Jackson is Melbournes oldest bar established in 1860 after the first land auction.  What started out as a single pint quickly escalated after we made friends with a local chef.  One pint suddenly was well a few more than a pint.   As we reached the bottom of the glass I had learned a few things.. most notable and memorable were the fact that sharks and crocs could and would eat me in a single bite. 

Australian Rules is the game you would invent if given a ball and asked to invent a game that involved tackling.  I am not going to bore you with the rules only the knowledge that the game makes perfect sense and was probably invented on a playground.  It is also the game Clayton was born to play.  He is big, fast, can throw and kick, which all make up the game of Australian Rules Football.  Sorry Clayton you were born on the wrong continent.  We had a fantastic time and became true Aussies.

Tomorrow its off to New Zealand bright and early.

Great Ocean Road

"I have done this before, but the complete opposite"

Today we decide to leave the city behind and head for the "Great Ocean Road" 200 miles West of Melbourne.  As you probably already guessed, this involved renting a car, an Australian car.  As you have already deduced, they drive on the left side of the road, sit on the right side of the car, and have pretty much every gadget, gizmo and watchamacallit inside the car switched- so yes i kept turning on the windshield wipers instead of the turn signal.  I am not suprised this place started as a slave colony.

We headed for the open highway and despite my best attempts to run our mid sized Hyundai (by mid size I mean trunk and two seats) into on-coming traffic, we made it on to the Great Ocean Road (GOR, oh yea we are moving to acronyms NG friends).  I admit the GOR at first was essentially the Pacific Coast Highway.  Then we reached our destination.

Clayton's daily itenerary called for a bratwurst breakfast at the Queen Victoria Market in Melbourne, which was of course fantastic, then driving 5 and half hours to "The Twelve Apostles".  A note before we go- I have deduced in the last 36 hours Aussies love road signs (they have one for everything... everything), hooded sweatshirts, and brats.

The 12 Apostles along with "The Grotto", "London Bridge", and "Sea of Martyrs" were a series of giant rock formations on the south coast of Australia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Twelve_Apostles_(Victoria)).  Clayton did not disappoint.  They were absolutely fantastic.  The rain parted and it seemed that God smiled on us a little as we had perfect sunset weather to see them.

It took us 6 hours to drive there and you will not be suprised Clayton found a shortcut on a map without any help.  We got home in half the time, but almost hit a Kangaroo.

Day 1 of Sorts (And so it begins..)

Well, we made it.  Day one is in the books... or days 1-3 however you slice it. 

Clayton and I landed in Australia and had one heck of a day. If you know anything about Clayton his first objective was to obtain a map of Melbourne, then establish where everything was, and then plan our day... all before we left the airport.

This is after he befriended his seat mate on the plane and established where his planning of our grand trip had gone awry.  So needless to say, I slept for 9 hours on the plane and Clayton made a new friend who redefined the meaning of invading your personal space (she slept on top of him essentially).

We walked across Melbourne yesterday.  We climbed to the top of the highest building in the Southern Hemisphere, hiked the entirety of Melbourne, got our bearings, and passed out at 7 PM and slept til 7AM this morning. 

A huge highlight for me was going to "Dainty Sichian Food".  I always watch the show "Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations" and we went on his recommendation.  The food was incredibly spicy but unbelievably good.  Though two family sizes dishes could have fed an army.

So it is, well rested, well fed, and ready for day 2.  G'day.

Clayton: Sacred Lizard Man with Mystic Boomerang

"At Rex Kwan Do, we use the buddy system. No more flying solo. You need somebody watching your back at all times."  I took that to heart and who better to watch your back in the outback than your little bro (little brother being a liberal title for his age relative to mine, not his behemoth size).  This is your introduction to Clayton, my travelling companion, brother, and best friend.

I have been Clayton's brother his entire life, he didn't do that for me now did he?  I remember life before Clayton, yea it sucked being an only child competing for attention against the dog.  Destiny had other plans for me and the dog as I had to move from only child to older brother and consummate back-watcher.

I'll be honest if I may, I am tired of watching Clayton's back so its time for him to step his game up.  When he was a baby and couldn't crawl I stepped up and drug him to the toys.  So what if I pulled his arm out of socket, he needed those toys.  When he started to crawl and fell down the steps, I did what any wing man would do.  I stepped out of the way and let him roll all the way down and hit the cement basement floor- cause he wanted to roll down those stairs and I am not a man to get in his way.  That's only the beginning, because now its about walking... wait for it.. on walk about (see what I did there).

Clayton good news for you brother, its your time to shine.  You are a sprightly young college graduate full of precociousness and wonderment and the perfect guy to watch my back as we go spelunking, bungeeing, climbing, scubaing, and whatever else we dream up in this foreign land. Below an aboriginal myth for inspiration (note you need a magic boomerang):

Two Men myth The Two Men (Wati Gudjara) myth involves a long and arduous journey by two iguana men, the elder brother Kurukadi and the younger Mumba, who travel south east from the Kimberley to imprint their deeds and adventures not only upon the landscape, but upon the local ancestral spirits. They are said to have had a magic boomerang with which they fashioned much of the landscape of the Western Desert. Ancestral cultural heroes, they initiated songs and dances and passed on sacred designs and images which are still being used today.  The journey continues into South Australia, Pitjantjatjara country, where at long last, it is said the two men ascended into the skies.

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wati-kutjara)


Apparently you also need to castrate the moon man.  I think we need reservations for that.

Scuba Certified

Well, pretty much what ya'll (yes I will celebrate Southern heritage on this blog) expected happened.  I passed 4th grade scuba.  So no real need to start passing out handshakes on that one.

I will have to give a huge shout out to the people of Dive n' Surf (http://divensurf.com/).  They hooked me up with a great class, a professional instructor group, and a great time.  They are also going to put me in contact with some great people in Australia to go dive the Barrier Reef with.  They are a complete and total class act, me that's a different story, told below.

Friday afternoon I headed over to dive and surf to pick up my gear for the weekend.  Included in the price of my class were two full air tanks, a wet suit and hood, buoyancy compensator, regulator (or reg as we veterans say), a 25 lb weight belt, and an unnatural encounter with the old barnacle who runs the rental department.  FYI: The weight belt helps you sink in water because the wet suit makes you so buoyant.

Saturday Morning, I was not raptured which meant I rolled out of bed and drug my week-weary self down to Veteran's Park in Redondo Beach.  I slapped on 50 pounds of gear and threw myself into the frigid ocean out of the frigid air for what was supposed to be two dives. The surf was up and I knew after I watched our instructor drag the drowning high school girl in our class through the breakers as she spit salt water out of her nose it would be a short day.  We did one dive, I saw a shrimp and a crab- they were breath-taking (there needs to be a sarcasm font).

4:30 AM.   Beep Beep.  That's how I started my Sunday. 13 hours later I drug my exhausted body off the Catalina Express and went almost immediately to bed- not of course without a little help from my friend Cabernet.

In between, I drove 30 minutes south to Long Beach, WITHOUT coffee, which is criminal in the continental 48, hopped on the ferry, slept, drooled all over myself, and awoke at Catalina as quite the vision of loveliness.  I will say that by now that 50 lbs of gear, I lugged to the ferry at about 100 lbs- pre-dawn will do that to you.  We dived right in and spent the next 1.5 hours in freezing water doing skills that made me feel like a football player asked to dance ballet: bull in a china shop, and that was the first dive.  However uncoordinated I felt, I still saw a ton of fish, rays, crabs, sea cucumbers, kelp- all in stunning HD which made me feel accomplished.  After 2 more dives, which were thankfully about 30 minutes, I hauled myself out a champion, the dorky picture below is me, certified open water scuba man:

I then had ice cream at Big Olaf's Creamery on Catalina. Do it, don't ask questions.  You are most welcome.

Great Australian Literature

Well, as with most things this started out with the best of intentions, but I am afraid we have all lost.  Especially you.

I wanted to read some Australian literature while I was in Australia.  I popped on to the internet machine and researched good books from Australian authors.  I searched for "Best Australia Books".  Damn it.  That's more on travel.  So, I googled  "Best Books by Australian Authors", I was not feeling lucky.  And now neither should you.

Understand, now I have put legitimate time and effort into internet searches which generally lead to some librarian's top 10 Australia books which are listed on web pages covered in cats.  Everything I read mentioned this gentleman, Patrick White.  Apparently my boy Patty (as I have taken to calling him) won a Nobel prize in literature.  On top of that his crowning jewel was a book titled Voss.  Oh Amazon, you make it so easy to buy!  So I bought it at approximately 11:51 PM and rolled over and went to sleep, feeling pretty good about myself.

I think you know now, why we all lose.  I bought a book that won a Nobel Prize about Australia, which I plan to read in Australia.  One day I am going to corner you in public and recount the whole tale to you. In some dry stuffy voice I am going to make you endure how much better of a person I am for reading this amazing book.  You will pretend to care, but you probably won't try to care.  I will try to sound important and you will stare at me and know I am full of shit.  I'll be looking into your face trying to see if you realize I full of shit, while trying to impress you about what boils down to the fact that I can read.  I'll try to drag the conversation out and you will try to cut it short by nodding as fast as you can.  In the end you will tell me you wish you had had that exact same experience just to placate me and I'll walk away thinking you bought into my B.S.

However, I will be thinking in the back of my mind I wish I had read something else, because this book was Jane Eyre with an Australian accent. A Nobel prize doesn't necessarily translate into interesting, more or less it means a lot of words I don't understand and complex sentences that I had to re-read. You won't get that from me in the course of our conversation. You won't hear, "Man, I wish I had just read a John Grisham."  So we both lose,  I will make you suffer not because I want you to think I am smart like you might think, I will make you suffer slowly and painfully, because I suffered through this book.

So, consider yourself warned if you run into me after July 10th.

Scuba Class

A ton of prep work has gone into this trip: flights, trains, lodging, activities, and most notably scuba.

Tomorrow night I have my next to last scuba class before we head to open water this weekend.  Scuba class teaches all the skills to prepare you for the worst under water.  The worst of the worst being running out of oxygen.  I have been breathing oxygen longer than I care to remember and I have always had plenty of it.  Last class I found myself without oxygen for the first time.

The instructor cut my oxygen to teach us how it feels.  Imagine trying to breathe in and feeling your entire chest clinch because it cant expand.  Even when you know its going to happen and extra oxygen is a few feet away, you can't help but freak just a little, ok alot.  I think its gotta be instinct for your body to start punching your brain.

Other skills are things like losing your mask, losing your regulator, gaining and losing buoyancy, etc.  However I think the big skill is to not lose your mind when something goes wrong.  Once you start to panic its game over.

In honor of people doing things I cant even imagine here is a video of some free divers.  Mind you they are holding their breath and have no oxygen.  I freaked after 3 seconds this is 3 minutes 100 feet under water.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mU_IF20t2R8

Enjoy!

Death and Walk about

Today a friend of mine send me a link to a website of dangerous creatures lurking in the outback (http://blog.hotelclub.com/the-10-most-dangerous-animals-in-australia/).  I developed new found respect for the Aussies and the death they seemingly confront at every corner, whether from forked tongue or cephalopod.  I started to think about all the dangerous animals I have encountered and I realized I had had some pretty dangerous encounters as well...

Yes, I know.  Thats my sweetie, Topi.  That hairy pissed-off snarl of my arthritic overweight bacon loving angel is about all you could hope for in a female.  Topi is a giving animal too, she would love nothing more than to present you with the freshly dead mole, which she ripped apart with her teeth.  My first survival story, spending numerous evenings with the beady eyes of a killing killer who kills trained on me from the foot of my bed- and now I'm supposed to fear what again?

The second deadly wild beast: Klaus of swedish genus.  Though moderately tempered Klaus's are know to be dangerous when confronted with cheese.  Usually armed with cross bows (true story) the beast is known to constantly be stalking food, rumor has it that a Klaus actually has 2 stomachs one for dinner and one for dessert and is always hungry. Usually a Klaus can be tracked by the large amounts of fur it leaves in the bathroom in addition to the fact that it stomps, grunts and makes "mah" sounds constantly. The klaus is a dangerous beast when roused: fact but with constant walks, snowboarding, and belly rubs a Klaus can make a fine roommate.

Finally, this.  The most terrifying of all.  Ger-bear.  Only the cobra and Ger-bear can increase in size to intimidate enemies, which I can personally attest to.  The Ger-bear is most dangerous when anything comes between her and her cubs.  Don't let this photo fool you, behind the flowers, cookies, smile, and motherly love is a marauding bear.  Similar to a rattle snake the Ger-bear has a warning and its 62 missed phone calls.  If the warning goes unheeded, Godspeed to the netherworld my compatriot.  However, fear not my reader for within my genetic make-up lies the strength and killer instinct of Ger-bear which is why I fear nothing the outback could send against me.

21 days til launch...

Song of the day: "California Soul" Marlena Shaw

Less than a month to go...

I decided this would be the best way to let people keep up with the trip of a life time.  I'll tell you all about it.  Every last detail.  So you can sit at work and be rediculously jealous while I am out galavanting.

34 Days of my bro and I down under. June 6-July 10th.

Here are some of the things you have to look forward to:

Warm and cuddly or sexual deviant:

http://theweek.com/article/index/207316/are-stds-killing-koala-bears

A journey to the lost world:

http://www.waitomo.co.nz/LostWorldEpic7hrs

and of courese I'm getting scuba certified (which is a 4 hour pain in my ass twice a week):

http://reeftrip.com/

More to come and plenty of it.